It’s 11.15pm; I checked my phone for your usual call as you always phoned me right off work. My head is dizzy and my finger is tired from pressing the screen and turning at every vibration; I checked my phone regardless. It’s funny when you’re apart, I have too much to say I’m choked up with words but I lost this feeling for a little while when we were together. To say that I love you is too simple and an understatement. No, I believe what I feel for you is madness. What we had for each other was madness. We were great lovers like we stepped out of F.Scott Fitzgerald’s novels or fairy tales or sonnets. We were great and I love you so much. It’s so impossible to even love a person this much, it consumes me.
Do you love me too? I apologize if I hurt you, accidentally always, but I still am sorry. I love you and I can’t make you happy so I had to let you go while every bone, every vessel, every vein in my body screams pain and love for you. It was fun while it lasted I guess. Overwhelming with emotions, I feel like an empty vessel in an abandoned arena and only your tenderness could bring me back to life. I’m sinking into the memories of you, lost in the remnants of your touch and daydreaming of the kisses that we had. I wish I didn’t love you so much because I think about you every day and every night. I was born when you kissed me, lived for a while when you loved me and having a temporary death when you left me. I’m begging ” Baby please stay” but I know it’s not the right thing to do, I know because staying with an uncertain heart only brings wars and disasters. We are meant to be together, we both know it but if you happen to stumble across someone that could bring you happiness, I hope she won’t trouble your heart; the thing I would do anything to protect. Remember, no matter how long you’ve traveled in the wrong direction, you can always turn around. Ten years from now, I’d still die for you if you’d take me back. But I’m not a stop on the way, I’m the destination. If you decide to come back, know that you’d never find another love like this so don’t be careless. I always really, truly, deeply, love you. Do you love me too?
Dedicated to the light of my life.